As we approach Christmas, it’s easy to feel the season’s conflicting emotions—joy and excitement mingled with memories of loss or longing.
The holidays often illuminate the gaps left by loved ones who are no longer with us. It’s a time when the past and present collide, and for many, it can feel bittersweet.
Yet, amidst the busyness and emotion, there is power in tradition.
Our rituals—whether it’s baking a cherished family recipe, hanging ornaments that tell stories, or simply lighting a candle—have a way of anchoring us. They connect us to the love we’ve shared, providing comfort and healing during what can be a tender time.
Traditions offer us a bridge between grief and gratitude. They remind us not only of the joy we’ve experienced but also of the love that endures, even in the absence of those we miss.
When we embrace traditions with intention, we can carry forward the essence of those we’ve lost while creating new moments of light for ourselves and others.
A Personal Reflection
For me, the holidays are steeped in memories of my parents and the traditions they created from their own childhoods.
My dad lovingly assembled treasured German cookie trays every year, one for each child, that became a centerpiece of our Christmas mornings.
My mom, true to her English roots, made the most beautiful trifle—a tradition she carried with her into our family. Together, they wove new traditions, blending their histories into something uniquely ours.
One of my most vivid memories is waking up on Christmas morning to find the living room locked.
My parents insisted it remain closed until we’d had a proper family breakfast together. As children, we spent hours trying to figure out clever ways to sneak in, but it was always futile. That prolonged anticipation of opening gifts was tempered by the quiet joy and comfort of being together as a family, sharing a meal and savoring the moment.
These traditions—the stockings at the foot of the bed, the trifle, the cookie trays, the locked living room—are embedded deeply in my heart and mind.
When I recreate these special rituals now, I feel a profound connection to my parents and the love they poured into our family. Even in their absence, they remain present through these acts of remembrance, bringing me a sense of joy and peace during the season.
While some of these traditions have changed over the years, some have remained and we have created new ones for our children. They in turn are creating new traditions for theirs, while holding on to some of the ones they love.
What a lovely way to honour the past, present and future.
Christmas Cookie Trays- An Annual Tradition
Coaching Questions to Ponder
What traditions bring you a sense of connection and comfort, and how can you honor them intentionally this year?
How might you create space to remember a loved one with gratitude and kindness to yourself?
What small acts of kindness or generosity could you offer to others as a way to lighten their load—and your own?
Tips for Navigating Grief with Traditions
If you’re navigating grief or missing someone deeply this season, here are a few ideas:
Recreate a favorite holiday memory. Whether it’s cooking their signature dish or telling stories about them, let their presence be felt in your celebrations.
Start a new tradition in their honour. This could be as simple as lighting a candle or as creative as making a special decoration.
Practice kindness to yourself. Allow space for your feelings, and lean into activities that bring you comfort and joy.
Share love with others. Acts of generosity—whether small or big—have a remarkable way of easing the weight of loss.
Every Christmas since her death I have created an Owl Tree to remember my mothers love of Owls.
A Gift for You
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed this season, consider booking a 1:1 introductory coaching session with me. Together, we can explore how to find joy and intention even during difficult times.
And don’t miss my upcoming workshop, Create Your 2025: A Soulful Journey to Dream, Believe, and Thrive. This transformative experience will help you enter the new year with clarity, hope, and purpose.
Let this season be one of gentle light and kindness—both to yourself and to others. By embracing traditions and finding gratitude, even in moments of grief, we can welcome the holidays with a full heart.
Warmly, Marianne
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