Today marks a very special day for me—my 24th wedding anniversary. Reflecting on the years with my amazing husband, George, I’m reminded of the great highs and inevitable lows we’ve faced together.
George, there’s no one quite as wonderful, funny, loving, and connected to my spirit as you. I send you all my love and thanks for being by my side through it all.
Embrace Maitri
How Do You Show Yourself Loving Kindness and Recover After a Setback?
The highs of our life together were more easily maneuvered—they came with success, happiness, and a sense of accomplishment. But the lows were trickier. They often brought doubt, regret, sadness, disappointment, and frustration.
These moments forced me to confront my own weaknesses, struggles, and uncertainties, which could lead me down a path of self-recrimination and self-blame. It’s a dangerous path, and one I’ve seen many of us travel.
We can be our harshest critic when we really need to be our best friend.
Twenty-four years of marriage has led to a lot of reflection. Life has its ups and downs, and we don’t always control our circumstances.
As I write this on a rainy Monday, I’m particularly reflective, recognizing how amazing my life has been while also seeing the challenges that lay ahead. Some of my dreams and hopes remain unfulfilled.
My coaching journey, while an unexpected joy, has also been a massive learning curve with peaks and valleys—and more valleys than I anticipated. Starting a business has been far more challenging than I ever imagined. From technology and social media to marketing and building my coaching skills, the struggle has been real.
Additionally, as a family, we are navigating new health challenges and trying to look toward the future with hope and determination. But it’s easy to fall into doubt and self-sabotage.
Personally, I’m still settling into retirement, wondering if I’m taking care of my health well enough.
Sleep isn’t great, my body weight isn’t where I want it to be, and I have many incomplete projects weighing on me. We are committed to a long-term community housing project, which is not easy and has its own setbacks. Our special-needs adult son requires a lot of support, and I’m mindful of our aging dog, Murphy, who is nearing the end of his journey.
Despite these challenges, I remind myself of all we’ve accomplished and the importance of being kind to myself. This brings me to the concept of Maitri, which has become essential in my life.
What is Maitri?
Maitri comes from the Buddhist Sanskrit tradition and translates to “unconditional friendliness towards oneself.”
It means providing loving-kindness to yourself, which might sound indulgent or self-absorbed but is actually essential. Loving-kindness is fundamental to elevating your life, beliefs, and capacity to help others.
It’s not a New Age concept; it defines how you move through the world.
When our self-worth is weak, we risk always feeling inadequate. The key is recognizing and changing these beliefs. Maitri reminds us of the power we hold over our own minds and the opportunities that exist for us.
How to Introduce Maitri into Your Life
Reframe Negative Self-Talk:
Create a mantra or word reminder to stop negative thoughts. For instance, when you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not smart,” immediately stop and reframe it to “I’m learning and growing.”
Mindfulness:
Dedicate time each day to mindfulness. Use meditation, journaling, or simply being conscious of how you speak to yourself. Model your behavior after someone you admire, observing how they treat themselves and reframe challenges.
Replace Toxicity with Healthy Inputs:
Control who you spend time with and what you allow into your life. Surround yourself with like-minded people who recognize your goodness and support your growth. Set boundaries and protect your mental space from negative influences.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserve your love and affection.”
Buddha
My Personal Journey with Maitri
In these difficult times, I’ve drawn heavily on the principles of Maitri.
It’s not just a nice idea—it’s necessary to lift myself out of tough moments and give me the strength to continue.
The work of Maitri is about being your own best friend, having your back like a true ally, and never giving up, even in the face of insurmountable odds.
So, as I celebrate my anniversary and reflect on my journey, I encourage you to be kind to yourself. Recognize your worth and the incredible progress you’ve made.
Embrace Maitri, and let it guide you through your challenges, helping you see the beauty and strength within yourself.
Together, we can continue to move forward in a healthy, productive, and magical way.
What 24 years looks like.
Points to Ponder: Thoughts to reflect on
Self-Reflection:
What negative beliefs about yourself do you need to reframe to support your growth and well-being?
Mindfulness Practice:
How can you incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine to cultivate a kinder and more supportive relationship with yourself?
Healthy Environment:
What steps can you take to surround yourself with positive influences and protect your mental and emotional space?
Let me know how you are showing up for yourself and what you are doing to be kinder to yourself?
As you may know I had to cancel the Summer Sanctuary set for July 27th. I am working on a fabulous replacement that will come in August. Stay tuned.
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